Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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