You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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