Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
