New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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