where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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