I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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