DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
