Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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