my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
