she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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