Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
