Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize