you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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