if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
