i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
