I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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