I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
