I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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