I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
