Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
