We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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