i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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