You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
