The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
