Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
