I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
