we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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