you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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