those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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