So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think your dad took our porno
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
