and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize