What did we do last night that was yellow?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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