so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
