i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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