I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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