I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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