I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
