I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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