We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I love you. Go after that dick
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
