I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
