It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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