is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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