She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I love having hate sex.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
