whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
