yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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