I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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