I think scott just propositioned me for sex
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
