She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
