i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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