i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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