He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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