Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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