it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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