i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
