You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
