We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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