Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
