So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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