I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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