how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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