...so i touched it.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
