why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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