i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You are a genius and a whore.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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