Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
