there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
