it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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