You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
